Here With Me
by short-skirtbluescarf
Summary: What would happen/ What I would like to happen in the 50th Anv. In my romantic suspense and fangirl anxiety, I came up with this. Eleven meets Rose, Ten/Rose reunion. Mostly from Rose's POV. Maybe some Cara and River Song later. IDK where it's going to go. Enjoy!
1. Hello Again

Rose Tyler woke up with a familiar aching in her heart. It had been watered down and suppressed for months yet it was still there. He had been out of bed for about an hour, getting ready for another day at work. A few deep restless breaths were required before she could roll off her side of their bed. Rose opened her shirt drawer and dug around until the plain purple shirt was found. The black polyester trousers were sentimentally pulled off a hanger from her side of the closet. Then she searched the collection of jackets and coats for the leather garment cleverly hidden from the man she lived with. Her ten minute dressing routine ended as usual, the beautiful young blonde staring at her reflection in a full length mirror, searching for even the smallest of imperfections. She had never felt self conscious with-

"_That_ outfit again, ay?" he groaned upon entering the room.

"They are just clothes. I don't understand why they drive you so mad." It was a lie they both knew by heart.

"I'm not going to argue with you this morning," John announced in a low frustrated sigh.

"Good, cause we're both about to leave anyway." Rose finished touching up her mascara, still distracted by her reflection, then briskly exited the bedroom of the flat they had bought just over a year ago.

She grabbed her purse in the kitchen and threw his dirty dishes in the sink for later. The _real_ Doctor always cleaned up after himself- if they didn't make it a playful flirtatious team effort. But those days had been reduced to the hundred or so precious memories with her Doctor, a man so different than JohnSmith.

An effort of a smile graced her features as London morning air filled her lungs. The sky was overcast, this autumn had been particularly dreary, she had been in a melancholy mood for the last week, and for some reason she couldn't get him off her mind. The usual soft pulling of her heart was stronger today. It was like whatever connection they still shared wasn't being stretched across a parallel universe but just the other side of town.

The walk to Hyde Park felt much shorter this morning, her thoughts kept her occupied for the fifteen minute journey. This wasn't the life he had wanted for her, though he thought he was doing them both a favor. When they were dropped off at that bloody bay in Norway, none of them could have guessed what was to come. Yes, John was very much like her tenth incarnation of the Timelord but his newfound human bits made him just different enough to irritate her.

It felt like her time traveler was holding her when they cuddled on the sofa watching telly but then he'd make a comment to ruin the illusion. Ten wouldn't have used that word or wouldn't have phrased that particular thought that way. A few of his mannerisms were slightly off. And when he touched her, she felt as if he knew he was simply the replacement for the one she wanted the most. After those first several months, Rose found it difficult to say those once sacred words. She loved him, just not this version- a fact that was nearly killing them both.

It was a noise from her past that returned her to the present. So many times she heard echoes of the sound in her dreams and memories. But this was just over a couple of blocks.

"Doctor," she gasped in a whisper, eyes wide and heart suddenly pounding. Not a moment later, she was running as fast as her legs would carry her towards the sound of the blue box she loved so dearly. His blue box.

Rose sprinted the sidewalk of Sussex Gardens then stopped at an intersection. While the sound was much louder, it seemed a bit muffled. In desperation, the woman closed her eyes and focused on the noise alone to pinpoint where it was coming from before it was too late. A few seconds of concentration passed before she decided to turn left. Her turn onto London Street brought only more frustration.

"Where are you?" she hissed staring down the empty street. The last pulses of the TARDIS echoed from somewhere near.

Though she was out of breath, Rose continued her frantic search further down the street. Then something caught the corner of her eye.

Sitting in an alley was the magical blue telephone box she adored. The mysterious time machine Londoners used to anticipate each Christmas stood there as if her dream from this morning was coming to life. It was right there. _He_ was right there.

Behind the TARDIS doors, her Doctor was probably tampering with switches and buttons of the console. She wasn't sure which version of him she would find but she had to change fate in some way. If the TARDIS was here, in her parallel reality, something was already very wrong. With the greatest fear and relief she had ever felt, Rose ran towards the blue box.

There wasn't enough time for her to get to the phone box before its doors opened. The blood in her veins froze as a shadow approached. Hair somewhat spiked up, tall, lanky, and silent was the figure becoming less distorted. Once the youthful daft looking Doctor came prancing out of the TARDIS, legs loose and body moving in an unfamiliar bobbing motion, their eyes met.

He immediately stopped breathing as his eyes grew wide and expression confused. They took one another in for a few stunned seconds, he obviously knew who she was. So this was a future doctor.

"Rose," he whispered as if her name was his best and most precious secret.

"How long has it been?" she sweetly demanded, unsure of who this incarnation was.

He looked down and ran a trembling hand through his light brown hair before answering, "Oh, about fifty years for me." When their emotional stares met again he asked, "And for you?"

Rose took a deep breath, doing her very best not to cry. How had fifty years gone by? And yet part of her was thrilled that she still had this much affect on him. The man was practically speechless. But his lack of eye contact and constant fidgeting made her nervous. What new secrets did he have? Was there someone else? Then she remembered his question. How long had it been since he dumped her back in Norway with the carbon copy?

"It's been one year, two months, and five days," she stated with a sorrow she couldn't mask.

His Adam's apple jumped in his throat, making his dumfounded expression almost comical. Yes, she had been keeping track of their time apart. To the day.

"How long have you been…" How could she say it? Not him? Was he eleven or twelve?

"Not long after…" He couldn't even speak the words. Then his face lightened, as if he just remembered something he had been wanting to tell her. "Remember New Years Eve of 2005? You and your mom were in a bit of a fight." She nodded, slightly remembering the memory from so long ago. "The man in the shadows… told you that you were going to have a great year…" Her gasp brought a quick smile to his lips and eyes. Rose covered her mouth with realization. "I was already in the regeneration process," he shyly confessed. "Just had to see you one last time.

"Before we actually met," she whispered in amazement. "You came back to say goodbye." The teary girl was deeply moved then what seemed a second later she was suddenly upset, angry even. "You could have found us at any moment and… We could have-"

"It would have changed everything," he reminded her, hating himself at the moment.

"We could have been together," his Rose announced with a trembling lip and dripping eyes.

The younger bloke started nervously tampering with his bowtie before he stuttered, "Ac-actually… There's something you need to know before we-"

Rose Tyler's heart stopped in her chest. There was only one circumstance that would make him so anxious. Her Doctor never hid anything from her, unless absolutely necessary and on rare occasion. Before another word was spoken, she darted towards the TARDIS doors. This stranger lifted a slender finger and opened his mouth in protest but she ignored his unconvincing attempts to stop her. Even he knew that she couldn't be stopped. Not now. Not when she was so close.


	2. Reunion

Rose tore through the TARDIS doors without reserve, her heart pounding as if an army of daleks were right in front of her. The console room had changed a great deal since her traveling days but much had changed since then. Everything had changed.

"Hello," she called out, her voice echoing against the walls, the TARDIS helping her voice carry down the nearby halls. "Anyone here?" The question didn't need an answer but she had to let him know she was there.

Rose walked up to the panel of buttons, knobs, switches, and screens- so familiar yet foreign, just as the doctor had been. It was like seeing an old friend for the first time in ages. Lovingly, her fingers danced over the colorful arrangement. Her eyes glanced around in case he had entered without her hearing him.

"Doctor?" She shouted this time.

There was no denying how desperate she was. She needed him. After all this time with his double, she still needed _him_. Feeling more insane with each second, Rose ran around the room shouting for him, each yell more pleading then the last. Suddenly tired and out of breath, the woman bent over to catch her breath. Golden strands of her hair fell over her shoulders and around her face as she grabbed her kneecaps with her hands, heaving from her sprint and raw nerves. Then she heard it, the sudden gentle hum of the TARDIS. Just the way she always did when something was about to happen.

Rose stood straight, took a deep breath, then froze. Her eyes widened at the sight of a dark figure walking down a strangely lit hallway, a corridor she had never seen before. The silhouette was more than familiar, each strand of hair spiked perfectly, each coattail flapping with each step, and the dimly lit features from her nightly dreams. She couldn't even whisper his name in terror that the moment would end if she spoke, if she breathed.

Her entire life felt as if it had been leading her here, now, to him. His walking pace was slow but precise, each step conquering a different fear of his own. The light from the console illuminated the shadowy figure with each step he took. Rose found the courage to take two steps of her own. Her feet ceased taking orders the moment their eyes met.

His face was blank, dark almost, and determined. The smile she had been waiting to see upon their reunion, if ever it came, wasn't there. She began to wonder if he even knew who she was. But it wasn't possible for him not to. This version of him was birthed right before her eyes. The brown suit she adored looked just as it did the last time she set eyes on it, not a thread different or discolored. And each detail of his face made her ache to touch him- though it was the identical face of the one she lived with back in present day London. But these eyes held all of time and space, the knowledge of a thousand cultures, and the weight and responsibility of a Timelord. Finally, they stood one step apart, both staring into the other's eyes.

"What are you doing here?"

She was hurt that the surprise he was supposed to feel had been replaced with disappointment. It took a few moments for her to register how the sight of her repelled him. How? Why?

"You shouldn't be here," he stated, scolding her as if she were a child.

"I had to-"

"You should be home. Safe. In _your_ time," he shouted without anger. "Not here on the verge of war."

Though her lip quivered, Rose stood tall and announced, "Well here I am. Like it or not, I've found you."

Tears threatened to drip from her eyes, revealing her weakness when she needed to be brave for him. For them. It suddenly occurred to her how difficult seeing her must have been for him. He had probably convinced himself that he'd never see her again- the same surprise the eleventh incarnation felt but more full of pain and regret. Rose suddenly took a chance and reached for his hand.

"Come on," he hissed, completely ignoring her attempt to touch him- even moving his hand away from hers.

Her Doctor walked past her as if she were a stranger, someone dirty and too mad to be worth any amount of time. The doors were flung open once more before he exited the blue box they had once been so happy in. It took several breaths and quick self assured thoughts to make her feet move from that spot. What had just happened? Had her sweet dreams finally turned to nightmares? No, this was reality. This was her chance. Or had been.

"Did _you_ do this?" he shouted to his next self as she closed the door.

"No, of course not!" the youthful version argued in return. "I thought _you_ did."

"I wouldn't do such a reckless, ridiculous-"

"Nor would I!"

They were now walking in a circle, staring eachother down as if it were a life or death situation. Then again, if they were this concerned, it probably was a matter of life or death.

"Stop it! Both of you! I came on my own. I've been trying to find you for a while now. No one brought me here," Rose announced until she was between them, her eyes switching from one Doctor to the other. Her eyes rested on _her_ Doctor for several painful seconds before she groaned, "Not that you've missed me."

He would never let her see it in his expression but her words cut deep, punching both hearts of both bodies.

"Let's just get back inside and figure out our next move," the one she loved spoke, turning away from her to enter the phone booth once more.

Rose looked over to the man she didn't know for some sort of comfort. If he was the next, surely he had already experienced this, right? He knew what was going to happen?

"Do you remember this?" she asked him so softly he almost didn't hear her.

Their eyes finally met before he sighed, "The timelines are all messed up. Something horrible, the worst possible circumstances, has brought he and I together." He looked down, full of sorrow, before adding, "This is the first time either have seen you since…" Still couldn't say it.

"Bad Wolf Bay." If she was going to hurt one, she was going to hurt both. From the looks of it, her words worked their wicked magic. The eleventh version nervously followed after the tenth, a sight she never imagined.

One the three were inside, circled around the moaning console, her doctor released a heavy sigh.

"Right. Rose, you are to stay in the guest room until this is all over. The TARDIS is the safest place for now. You aren't to leave until-"

"No. I'm going wherever you go. Step for step. Breath for breath. Trial for trial." This made him mad. A dark satisfaction filled her when his eyes blackened. "There's a reason I found you now, after months of trying. I'm not standing on the sidelines now. I don't care. If I die helping you then-"

Without warning, he took her by the shoulders, stared deep into her eyes, then softly ordered, "You are going to stay in the TARDIS if I have to trap you in here myself. Understand?"

His hands almost hurt her but she was glad for the contact despite the discomfort.

"It used to be me and you fighting to save all sorts of planets. Remember?" His stern face didn't budge. "Or have you forgotten already?"

Another satisfying reaction. He released her from his death grip then rounded to the opposite side of the console. Before another word was spoken between the three of them, he hissed a curse beneath his breath then left the room to walk out his frustration. Rose closed her eyes for a few heartbeats, fighting the urge to chase him. Finally, she fought back her tears and met the other doctor's pitiful stare.

"Why aren't _you_ so upset?"

It took him a minute to gather his thoughts and words, giving away nothing but telling enough.

"I've lost… so much. You were only the first of my heartaches. Probably my greatest, but not my last." The young man looked to the hall his other self had just stormed down. "Him seeing you again is a sort of miracle. One I won't understand until later, if ever." A thoughtful pause. "I don't know what's going to happen. Not with anything. Everything I thought I knew has changed. And you, Rose Tyler, are the second paradox I've run into today."

"Do you think there will be more?"

"Only time will tell."

Silent seconds passed before she asked, "Do you think he's even a little glad to see me?"

Instead of the reassuring words she longed for, he only gave her the ghost of an uncertain smile. Rose nodded in acceptance.

"Only time will tell," she repeated.


	3. Rose

He walked past the library's entrance but immediately backtracked to find his former self standing in front of a shelf fully concentrated on the book in his hand. Cautiously, he walked inside the circular room full of books. While watching himself skim through a few pages, he remembered how stubborn, how complicated, that incarnation was. Though it was one of his favorites, one of the happier versions, all things came to an end. No version knew this to be true more than him, eleven.

"Any books about human women in here?" he asked as a joke, breaking the ice.

Ten shoved the book back into its proper place and removed his specks in one motion. Though eleven was only joking, ten never passed the opportunity to show off.

"There's _Romeo and Juliet_, _The Odyssey_, _Jane Eyre_, _Pride and Prejudice_, all here."

"Donna Noble in there somewhere?" Their faces mirrored the same living pride at the mention of the name.

"No." Ten sighed. "But there should be." His eyes began to scan the shelves once more.

Eleven worked up the nerve then gave a forced cough before asking, "What about Rose Tyler?"

The mentioning of this name forced Ten's gaze down to the floor. That combination of syllables seemed to weaken him lately, quickly take him to a dark place he couldn't fully understand.

"The… Defender of Earth Rose Tyler?" he asked, as if unsure of whom his other self was mentioning.

The elder walked towards the younger with eyes begging for the conversation neither really wanted to have. When the younger brown eyes met the older, more damaged pair, a deep sigh filled the silent room.

"She's the best thing that ever happened to us you know?" Eleven began. "All of our regenerations have had one thing in common, some more so than others. All eleven of us wanted to be loved in a way we couldn't even understand." A pause of remembrance. "But you got to feel it- the love we all wanted."

"There was Sarah Jane," Ten lightheartedly reminded the other with a smile to hide his discomfort.

"Yes, but that was so different. That was puppy love. We never thought that would last." The argument was soft and not defensive, making the point Ten was trying to ignore. One single truth tormented them both. "I'm actually surprised Sarah Jane stayed as long as she did. Do you even remember why she left?"

"Of course I remember. If _you_ remember why wouldn't I remember?" Ten was clearly frustrated but still willing to continue.

After a few seconds of silence, Eleven added, "You loved Rose the way Sarah Jane wanted to be loved. We promised that we wouldn't leave Rose like we did the others but… Oh, I suppose an argument could be made for both sides. We left her with _him_, but it wasn't really us. It wasn't you." It took courage but he said it anyways, it needing to be said aloud. "She's still in love with you."

"Then she's also in love with you."

"She doesn't know me." The words burned in his ears and deep inside his heart. "This face means nothing to her. She probably sees me as a version of you that got over her." The last bit was more sighed than said but it drew a new expression from the other.

"Are you?... Over her? Does the pain ever dampen or end?" They stared for a while, neither able to speak. "I guess you did," he finally breathed, still curious. "How is the _misses_? Our _wife_?"

A sudden gasp turned both sets of eyes to the doorway. She had overheard them. But how long had she been there? How much had she heard?

Eleven's first instinct was to smart off to Ten. The timing of the comment couldn't have been more off yet he couldn't blame him. How were they supposed to know that she was listening in on them? Instead of putting the blame on his younger foolish self, he nervously rubbed his eyes taking deep breaths.

"You think she'll be alright?"

"Yeah, the TARDIS will keep track of her." Ten's expression lightened ever so slightly. "She always liked Rose. Always. Her Bad Wolf.

* * *

"_I can spend my life with you but you can't spend your life with me_," Rose mocked as she marched out of the TARDIS. "No, not _you_. You're different, Rose. You're special but no special enough to _properly marry_! Oh look- she's rather lovely. I'll marry _her_. Yes, what a brilliant idea. Do you think so? Oh _yes_. I mean, why would I marry the woman I… The woman I couldn't even tell…" The words hurt too bad to say aloud. She mimicked and mocked him for a full mile. She carried bitter conversation with herself until she realized how far she had traveled.

It was a strange planet they had landed on, as many were. But this one was strange because of how beautiful it was. She had been walking through some sort of forest and was now at the base of a rocky hillside. Certainly the view would be better up there. Time wasn't an issue, apparently there was plenty of it. Besides, the two Timelords were probably too busy talking about the _misses_ to come after her. Exotic birds flew overhead as a gentle rush of wind blew through the trees.

Nearly thirty minutes later, Rose found herself half way up the boulder of a mountain. The view was everything she hoped it would be. She looked around the yellow sky filled with golden orange and red clouds. The air here was warm but not hot, very relaxing. Perhaps this was a glimpse of what Gallifrey looked like. A loud yawn startled her from those pleasant mysterious thoughts. Rose turned around to find herself only feet below a cave. If she climbed another two or three steps up, there was something inside. She felt there was nothing to gain or lose so she took the change.

Those next few steps up were the easiest of them all. Rose was now determined to find a distraction great enough to keep those dead brown eyes from creeping into her memory. The entrance of the cave was large and instantly grew dark. If only she could light the way, any light would help. Quickly, she fumbled in her jacket pocket for her mobile.

"I've been through worse than a dark cave," she nervously coaxed herself.

The dim light from her screen lit the way long enough for the entrance to become a small hole of light when she glanced back. Everything went dark when the mobile's light timer forced the screen off. Rose only panicked for a few seconds before another dim glow caught her attention. Further into the cave was another source of soft moving light. Braver, more curious, and hopelessly desperate she continued forward. The crackle of the small fire grew louder until she found it, found him.

An old man in dark brown robes stood staring into the fire. Human? Deep lines filled the curves of his gentle face. Another few steps were taken until she could see his shriveled hands atop a wooden cane, more like a thick polished stick. What was an old man doing alone in a place like this? He stared into the fire as if he hadn't heard her enter, not even her nervous breathing. The fire crackled a few more times until she forced herself to speak. Why was she so nervous? She had been so glad for the distraction just minutes ago but now she didn't feel as she had expected.

"Hello," she whispered, that kind tone she used when meeting a foreign species.

The ancient being slowly found her stare, his eyes widening at the sight of her. Rose was also shocked. Something about the man was so terribly familiar. She felt as if she already knew him, yet she had never seen him before. Only one person in the universe could make her feel that way.

But it was impossible. Wasn't it?

"Doctor?" she whispered, heart thudding inside her chest to the point of aching.

A corner of his mouth twitched into a small grin. Those old glossy eyes came to life instantly. He quickly looked the woman over, taking in the welcomed sight of her. His body turned towards hers in a moment of breathless wonderment.

"Is it you?" she asked, more terrified than she had been since her traveling days. She willed her eyes to be sharper, just for a few seconds.

"Rose." He said her name as if it was a precious prayer. "My Rose."


End file.
